Back in August of 2000, I started going out with Fredy. He and I went out for a few months, but the point of this is to tell you that while I was with him, I decided to go to beauty school. He is a cosmetologist. We both thought it would be a great way to bond since I'd be working at his shop. Well, that November, I quit my job as a waiter and started beauty school.

I loved it!

Although school was to be over in September of 2001, it took me until February of 2002 to finish and go to state board and take my licensing exam. As you know, I am not doing hair because I did not pass. I didn't pass and I just gave up. It really hurt that I failed for some really minor (to me) shit and I put so much effort into it. I know it wasn't minor if I didn't pass, but still!

Every boyfriend I've had since then, except for one, has let me do their hair. I loved doing it and I even started doing nails since 2002. I've given my boys buzzcuts, platinum hair, changed their looks and just gone crazy with others. I've always appreciated them letting me practice my techniques with them even though doing a loved-ones hair is tough. With a client at a salon, if you fuck up, that's it, you'll never see them again, but when you know the person whose hair your doing and you fuck up, it hurts you more than them.

Yesterday, I received a letter from the Department of Consumer Affairs - Board of Barbering & Cosmetology. My appointment date to retake my exams is July 20, 2009. I have less than one month to go and I am freaking out! I do not have any notes from when I went to school, or anything that would help. Tristan, who has been supportive, has gotten me an appointment with his hairstylist who is also an instructor. She wants to meet me and I can only hope for good news. I've been looking on YouTube, going to various beauty sites and I'm going to visit the place where you rent your exam kit from to see a tutor.

The reason I'm doing this is cause I am tired of going to work at 9am, reading/replying to my email till 9:10am, sitting on my ass till 12:30pm to go to lunch, sitting on my ass till 5pm, all while just waiting for the phone to ring or someone needs my help. I am an Administrative Assistant for the Food Services Division at the Los Angeles Convention Center. I report directly to the HR Manager and am his assistant. Since I have no HR training, I am basically a whipping boy for everyone. Like I said, I read my email and then I'm done for the day, as I have to sit at my desk and answer the phone when and IF it rings. I appreciate having a job while friends are either unemployed or getting laid off, but you don't know how deppressing it is to sit in a room where people walk by and not notice you. I try my hardest to stay awake at my desk and I have cried many times, sitting there, restless and thinking of what could have been had I passed my exam. akira96 knows what my job duties are and he can tell you that I have it VERY easy and that I shouldn't complain. He's right, I shouldn't complain. I should be grateful. I am, to a point, but when you feel so useless, worthless as I do, you don't see the silver lining. Well, no, I do see the good stuff about my job, but I finally want more. I finally feel I deserve more.

Tristan.

Since I met him, thanks to Keith (the ex), I have felt better about myself. I feel like I deserve more and I am NOT worthless. I feel like I can get my license, even if I do fail this time, I will try again! I might not have a high school diploma (!, is anyone really shocked?), and I still have yet to finish a semester of community college, but I know now that I just started going to CC because I felt that I needed to do more with my life than just sit on my ass and wait for a phone to ring. Yeah, I hate saying that it took a man to get me motivated and off my ass to do something with my life, but if that's what it takes, then so be it. Right!?

Tristan is moving out of his current place in a couple of months and he wants me to move in with him around August/September. I am terrified of the idea because I would be leaving mommy. I don't know about you, but it just scares me to death leaving home. But like I said before, he makes me feel like I can do it.

I can grow up. I can move out. I can get my cosmetology license and make money. I can do it.

I'm just having trouble getting ready for my exam and that's what's scaring me right now. I need help and I'm trying to get it, so I will. I will do ok, I might fail, but since they do tell you where you fucked up, if I don't pass July 20th, I know I will soon. If I don't, my next plan is to find (if possible) another job or at least two part-time jobs in the evenings/weekends so I can pay my bills and go to beauty school in the daytime so I KNOW I will pass my exam and make a future with Tristan.

Thanks Fredy for getting me into hair, and thanks Keith for introducing me to Tristan. I don't want to badmouth Keith, so I'll say this, thank you for showing me a person who can let me be me!

And please don't tell me to use another browser.  I just need to turn off a setting in there that makes my websites go mobile.  I'm not a mobile user.  LAist, Perezhilton, and many other sites redirect me to a mobile site.  Does anyone know how to turn that setting off?

Thanks.

Sent from my Sprint BlackBerry Pearl.

Sent from my Sprint BlackBerry Pearl.

Sent from my Sprint BlackBerry Pearl.

I need help with preparing for my cosmetology exam coming up in a couple of months.  If anyone has any books, notes, videos, or anything that I might be able to "use"or even some tutoring, please let me know.

 I'm willing to pay, if that helps.

Thanks! 

Sent from my Sprint BlackBerry Pearl.

Sent from my Sprint BlackBerry Pearl.

-----Original Message-----
From: "Richard Figueroa" <wannacub@sprint.blackberry.net>

Date: Sun, 24 May 2009 22:54:31
To: TwitPic<wannacub.6927@twitpic.com>
Subject: Mmm, deep fried Twinkie!



Sent from my Sprint BlackBerry Pearl.

I just met Cincycub! Great guy and really cute! Anywho, it was great to meet him.
Sent from my Sprint BlackBerry Pearl.

Just trying out the LJ app for my BlackBerry.

Update soon.

I woke up this morning with a high fever and the chills. I was sick. Mom came in and asked me if I would go with her and grams to the doc, but I declined cause of how I felt.

Tristan, the BF, called and she said that young man is calling you. That told me she wasn't thinking right and I told her to eat. What happened was, she got her food ready and decided to take a shower. I fell asleep and I woke up to her screaming in the shower. She had gotten dizzy and fallen in the shower. I freaked out, but when she was crying hysterically and she looked so confused, I knew it was her sugar. I called 911 to help me get her out and they took her to the hospital. Her blood sugar was at 40! Sad thing is, this isn't the first time its gone that low. The paramedics gave her a glucose-liquid tube thingy and got her sugar up immediately. At the hospital, they did x-rays and all was good. We were only htere for three hours, but to me, it felt like I was there all day!

I have to make sure my mom eats something at bedtime and she does eat in the morning.

I'm taking the rest of the week off to take her to the doctor and make sure she's ok.

Hello!

My boyfriend and I just got Xboxs and we would like to make new friends on XBox Live.

I'm WannaCub and he's TristeHappy.

Look us up!

Sent from my Sprint BlackBerry Pearl.

I'm over at Tristan's and I can't help feeling sorry for myself.

I feel like I'm not good enough for anyone or anything, let alone my boyfriend.

I have a crappy job, I just started going to school, I'm broke all the time, and I have no real friends.

I just want to give up and stop dealing with all this shit and forget it all, but I know that's not the way. One of the main reasons I keep going is that I know my mom needs me and things would get worse for her.

*sigh*

Maybe one day someone, besides the boyfriend, will like me for who I am, and want to be my friend.

Seed MY fuck hole!

I've been spending more time on BiggerCity lately.

I'm looking for friends and it seems that guys on there don't want to fuck me, so that's a good thing!

:0)

WannaCub...that's my name everywhere...except for Bear411, as I'm wannaucb on there.

Good night!

...about some LJ'ers, naked, hard and ready to go! Some of them would be sitting on my face, while others, pounding my ass and filling it up!

Hmm, it's been a long day!
Sent from my Sprint BlackBerry Pearl.

I'm looking for those who want to play with me!

I'm WannaCub on XBL, so just look me up. I'll be playing around 9pm PST.

Thanks, y'all!

Having a boyfriend is such a ***** sometimes. I'm not sure what to do cause of it and it just makes me feel so defeated!

I guess our priorities don't sync and that's becoming a big issue.
Sent from my Sprint BlackBerry Pearl.

Eating, yet bored.
Sent from my Sprint BlackBerry Pearl.